It’s quiet this Sunday morning, crisp and cool outside with the sweet smell of recent rain. It’s one of those peaceful mornings where you wake up and enjoy that first cup of coffee while everyone else is still sleeping. The sky is gradually growing brighter and all feels right with the world. Sunday’s, for our family, start with pancakes (I add protein to them…), followed by church, family dinner, and then dessert night. It is our day to relax, enjoy, and simple be.
So, I woke a little before the family and as I was enjoying that first cup of coffee I was delighted by the thought of this very update I planned to write today. I was going to describe all the wonderful improvement Dad has made. He was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday and transferred to Health South for physical therapy before finally being sent home in the coming weeks. This concluded a massive 46 day stay at Banner Thunderbird and was a monumental victory. As with all victories, there were some set backs along the way, including the loss of a right lung and significant atrophy throughout all of his muscles. Victory nevertheless.
I was going to tell all two hundred or so of you who read this, from family to friends, co-workers to prayer groups, all about the wonderful progress being made. I was going to describe the 3 hours of physical therapy Dad is prescribed every day and how quickly he is regaining strength. I was going to impress upon you the fortitude of spirit with which Dad is pressing forward and how elated I am with the current state of everything.
I was going to tell you all these things and more, until I got a phone call telling me I was wrong. In an instant I felt that deep inner sinking feeling. Total vexation.
VEXATION: the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried.
So I made the all too familiar trip, essentially on auto pilot. Twelve hours ago, I imagined myself writing this update from the table on my back patio. Birds chirping, cool breeze, the smell of rain still lingering. Here I am though, at a high top table in the cafeteria at Banner Thunderbird Hospital eating chicken strips and suppressing the desire to break something.
As you have already concluded, Dad was transferred back to the hospital today. He was experiencing some pain in the cavity where his right lung used to be and was having some difficulty breathing. To explore the concern, his facility took a chest x-ray on site and believed he had fluid build up in the cavity. As such Dad came to the hospital where they took another chest x-ray and followed up with ultrasound to confirm that there was fluid – yup, confirmed.
What does this mean? Another stay in the hospital for sure. Though, hopefully a shorter one than last time. We have already spoken with his cardio thoracic surgeon who did not appear to be alarmed. A small procedure will be performed tomorrow; thoracentesis, which will remove this fluid by placing a needle into the space and drawing it out. Will this resolve the problem? “We” don’t know, but it is the least invasive initial option – the other being placing a chest tube. Given these two choices, I sincerely hope the thoracentesis works and only needs to be done this once.
We can all get over a small hiccup, but on a whole we are running out of patience. Dad is running short. Mom is out. We all are experiencing a massive shortage. Fortunately there aren’t many choices. None in fact. Pressing on IS the option; the only option. So, press on we shall.
For the sake of your families, if you are eligible to obtain a colonoscopy and haven’t done so I encourage you to start at the beginning of this blog and read through each post for a glimpse of what you could be setting your family up for. And, if you are knowing doing anything that causes cancer like smoking or chewing tobacco – please stop. If not for you, do it for them. For those who will spend countless hours worrying, visiting hospitals, managing your affairs while you cannot, and missing you dearly after you have departed. Do it for them.
With hope and love,
Richard
The Upside of Down - an update on hope, love, and oncology 
Vexation…. hmmmm? Couldn’t imagine that frustration.
However, “have Defiant HOPE… because Reasonable HOPE isn’t really HOPE at all.”
I saw that quote and thought it was fitting for tonight, I am hopeful it is like you said a hiccup to more victories ahead. We will be praying specifically that the procedure goes well and Kevin, you will be back to rehab right where you left off!! Also for patience and some darn relief for Mary and all of your family Richard. Hang in there, you’re doing a remarkable job… one that any father (mother) would be more than proud of.
xoxo The Patterson Family
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Ali keeps me up to date each time, but I finally got to start reading for myself.. I have been in similar situations of this prolonged frustration in times of life but I can’t imagine where you stand. You are one amazing son to him and patience will be the hardest thing to keep filled, but you can do it. You all can. I pray for him daily as I pray for the whole family. You all are such a blessing. God knew what he was doing when he brought Alicia into my life. He brought all of you. Keep that head high and that heart strong. We are here. We love every one of you.
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Hang in there, Richard. You are doing an amazing job supporting your dad, mom and keeping us all informed with your beautiful writing. You truly have a gift! We are pulling for all of you. I was so happy to see your dad with those cute dogs at the rehab facility!! Hope he gets to go back very soon. We love you!! xoxo Aunt Pam, Sam and Jorja
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Press on, regardless! John Bogle (the founder of Vanguard) used to use this quote during my early days back in the ’90s. Please tell your Dad that we are all praying for him. Hang in there to the entire Harless family.
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All of our thoughts, prayers, positive vibes, and love are with you Uncle Kevin and your wonderful family. We love you all and are certain there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
Xoxo
Alicia, Destinee, Finn, And the Entire Knox family
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Kevin, the prayers continue. Remember – “progress is not measured by how far you have left to go. It’s measured by how far you’ve come.” And you’ve come a great distance. May the love and prayers of your legions of fans continue to support you through this most recent hiccup. And Richard, thank you for providing updates by use of your immense gift for the written word.
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Oh the news Sunday dropped me as I was there when they moved him. To see the smile on his face was wonderful and mom actually took a little time for herself. We had a nice visit!! Oh my heart is heavy once again, but through continued prayer and support, WE too shall all get through this. You got this!!
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Love, Hugs and Prayers to all of you.
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Even though beautifully written Richard,it painfully causes anguish in my heart to hear of the medical conditions treatments & tribulations your father Kevin a old friend of mine & Uncle to my daughter Alicia has had to endure. I as well can not imagine the daily pain the rest of your family is having to overcome.
Please know I pray to God for strength to be bestowed not on your father to overcome all involved with battling this debilitating desease, but all the strength & support in the world to the entire rest of your family, to keep you lifted up strong, to stand by his side & continue to be there for him to lean on you & for you all to lean on each other.
In my prayers daily to all.
Robert
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Fight, fight, fight. That is Kevin all the way. I liked Helen’s note. It is how far you have come overcoming obstacles. My love and prayers go out to you all everyday. Cindy F.
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Kevin, Mary, Richard, Jeremy and the rest of your family….. our prayers and thoughts are with you each day as we hope for positive outcomes through this journey you are all on. You all have demonstrated such strength, love and hope as you “press on” and have touched so many of us in a most personal way… We are pulling for you all and I personally am feeling at a loss for what I can do to help you, or your family. Sending our love and admiration to you all. I think you are the perfect family; always have and you have shown how much love you hold in your heart through your actions and writings. We as friends/family are most grateful for your eloquent writings and how you have let us in to your lives. We all just wish we could take the pain away. Forge ahead, onward & upward… keep up the fight. God Bless you Kevin, Mary, Richard, Jeremy and the rest of your family.
Love, the Hobson family (Ben, Michelle, Justin, Travis & Brandon)
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