Memorial Service

Kevin Harless, a eulogy.

There are so many friends and family here today and many more who were able to visit Dad during his final days. I want you all to know that your love and support gives us strength and reaffirms a sense of belonging to this community. You should know that my Dad openly expressed his gratitude for this widespread love and support, for all of you, over this entire last year and up until his final moments.

I want to talk about the all of the wonderful qualities my Dad possessed, how loving and generous he was, how positive and bold he could be, how confident and natural as a leader, and how quick he was to karaoke and dance; but you all know these things; and you know them better than I can express through words because you experienced them directly. You experienced Kevin Harless and all he had to offer on a personal level in a way that I suspect impacted you, changed you, helped you, and created an emotionally bound memory that will last far longer and with far greater impact than anything I could say here and now.

So instead of trying to speak to the experiences you all have had, I am going to share a personal reflection as a son. A view that only my brother can truly share with me.

You see, Dad was fantastic. He was firm and had high expectations. He was not someone you wanted to disobey, but as long as you played by the rules he was a great friend. Though it may be cliché, he was my hero. He was who I looked up to, the man I wanted to emulate, the Dad I wanted to become. My greatest sense of fulfillment came from making him proud.

Dad was engaged and fun. From building us the coolest and biggest tree house ever, to dirt bikes, wake boarding, rebuilding the mustang, baseball and ping pong with Jeremy, coaching me on negotiations and civic engagement. As I look back, whether we were entering a career or marriage, becoming a parent or even moving into a role caring for a parent – I see Dad’s handprints everywhere. I see the sacrifices he made. I see life lessons about hard work, and caring for others. I see the deliberate shaping and raising of his boys, the constant support, advice, and guidance. It was this consistency, this constant foundation, that was so impactful. So many discussions to gain perspective. So much time invested in his boys to set them on a good path. So many talks to share in our success and for us to feel his excitement, his beaming love and pride.

It was these conversations I most looked forward to and I found out this past week just how much I miss them, just how often they used to occur. I found myself pulling out my phone with exciting news to share, selecting my Dads contact, and then sighing as I put my phone away. It is hard to say it, but for me, this is the greatest gift my father has ever given me. The complete and pure love of a proud father. For this I will be forever grateful.

This last year has provided a lifetime worth of reflection on priorities, purpose, and meaning. It highlighted the importance of building memories and spending time with those we love. This year has been an absolute rollercoaster of emotion that at times felt cruel and unfair. But as I look back now, I am filled with gratitude to have had this length of time with Dad, to have grown and cemented the depth of our relationships; not only with Dad, but with Mom and the rest of our family. These challenging times have encouraged us all to grow. I am so impressed with the strength and perseverance my Mom possesses, a strength I would never have known otherwise. And so we will all lean in. We will all march forward and build more memories and continue to keep Dad alive in our thoughts and our hearts by sharing stories of him and by following his lead.

I will close by saying that I will take all I have learned from you, Dad, and pour into my children the same love, energy, and pride you invested in your boys. I will forever strive to make you proud, and I will forever love you.

Richard