“Grandpa” is doing great today! He had me thinking about Forrest Gump running and running and running (that should be read with a Gump accent). Back and forth, around and around; Dad wore the shine off the floors in this hospital today. He went from a respectful 80 feet with his therapist the other day to a whopping total of 1,300 feet today! Over the course of his three outings today, the single furthest was well over 600 feet. Where did this guy come from?! I believe it is in part because of all of you – when Dad is in his bed or chair, he has his iPad handy and is reading all of your comments. What a marvelous source of inspiration you all have created – thank you!
The pneumonia looks like it isn’t going to progress any further. IV antibiotics are amazing. Today’s blood draw came back with a lower white blood cell count as compared to yesterday – this is a good sign. Dad has been doing his physical exercises and his spirometer breathing exercises on the regular. He is hitting new records with these as well – if any of you reading this know me, I think I may have gotten the ounce of competitive spirit I have from my Dad… He wants me to chart these records so he can break them the next time…!
Another exciting feat today: whole foods! Like, real food! It was amazing. Dad had eggs and pancakes for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch with soup and mashed potatoes, and another sandwich with some chicken broth and part of a cookie for dinner! Throw in some Ensure between meals and he is on his way to regaining some weight!
Well, it couldn’t have slipped anyones eye that today’s post started with “Grandpa.” My kiddos came to the hospital this afternoon to share some of their precious, innocent, pure love as only kids can. Grandpa soaked it up like rays of sunshine. They laughed and told Grandpa all about their day at the water park. How Emily got to go down the big slide and how Jonathan jumped off the big diving board before the life guard could say he wasn’t allowed… Remove the setting and it was no different than any other interaction with those three. They have this sort of click, like in high school but not nearly as immature. It’s the sort of bond that you can feel.
We weren’t in another setting though. We weren’t on the beach like we were supposed to be last week. We weren’t barbequeing in Dads back yard. We weren’t at my house watching the kids play. We were right here, in the hospital. It made me think. How many more beach trips will that trio have? How many more barbecues and play dates?
It made me think about something else too. Several days ago an oncology support counselor pulled me aside and spoke with me while Dad was napping. She brought up my children and told me how important it is to discuss all of what is happening with them. They need to know to maintain an effective emotional connection with the family group. While she was very kind, some of this sounded like textbook jargon and I figured we would find a way to talk about it when it was time and I put it out of my mind – until today.
I didn’t expect to have “the talk” with my kids quite this young… though this isn’t the traditional “talk.” So, how do we tell my kids that Grandpa has cancer? How do we tell them that the initial prognosis was a relatively short timeframe? How do you tell them that their impenetrable trio won’t last forever, in fact far from it?
As I sat and watched that trio glow, I could actually see that they were so present in the moment. This changed my direction of thought yet again and I realized with clarity that you don’t ever tell a kid that they can’t do something. You never tell them that they probably won’t win their gymnastics meet. You don’t tell them that they probably won’t get into that college some day or that they probably won’t be Spider-Man when they grow up. What do you say to kids? It’s universal isn’t it? You tell them they can do anything if they try hard enough. You fill them with hope and optimism. Why does that go away as we grow up?
So I realized what to tell my kids, though we will wait for the right moment in the near future. It will be straight forward and honest, and full of hope and optimism.
As I was walking a hot lap around the halls today with Dad, he paused for a brief rest. I looked at him to talk some trash about his rest period when I noticed the gloss in his eyes. His voice cracked and quivered as he said,
“Each step I take and each hand grip excercize I do is another step I will be able to take and another hand I will be able to hold with my grandchildren, even the ones I haven’t met yet.”
I chose to withhold the trash talk about his rest period, and quickly looked away so he wouldn’t see the gloss in my own eyes. He squeezed my hand tonight and took steps with me today, and for that I am greatful.
Hope and Love,
Richard
The Upside of Down - an update on hope, love, and oncology 
You are truly amazing Richard, a tribute to your dad. Oh that we all could stop and smell the roses and thank God for this day because it could be the last day for any of us. Those children are going to have so many wonderful memories of their grandpa in their hearts. Kevin and Mary are the most involved wonderful grandparents I have ever seen, and your children are the sweetest most well behaved lovable children I know. I am looking back at the day we arrived here in Arizona and the hugs we got from them. What a joy because I miss my grandchildren and great grandchildren so much. Bruce and I have experienced real family life and how it should be from your wonderful family. I thank God for you all.
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Kevin, keep fighting like you always do in your own unique way- and most importantly your spirit is pulling you through. We are all thinking of you and sending healing thoughts. Richard thank you so much for sharing these updates. They are heartfelt and inspirational! ❤️Amy
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Richard, your heart will guide you as to when the time is right for telling your children and how much you tell them. Let your dad and children enjoy their special moments. It is truly the best medicine! Love and prayers to all of you!
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Now that is what this is all about, the memories we’ve yet created… So let me share a few of mine with you so that we can reminisce before I come out to make some more with you…Boy oh boy what a special man in my life you have been… Maybe you weren’t my dad, although I’ll be honest there were times I wish you were, or my grandpa but you were my awesome Uncle Kevin…and even in that roll you were remarkable (passed with flying colors in my book)! So let’s go back if you will to a time when the Harless family took a grand adventure to the great state of Texas! Well let me just tell you this made my world knowing how close some of my most favorite people on earth were now living to me. So on the first trip I made to visit we went fishing in the pond back behind your house on that big piece of beautiful land… And before this special fishing trip YOU yes you bought me my first fishing pole and tackle box (it was black and neon green ;)) and yes I do recall catching a little pirch which was my very first fish! I mean I thought you were pretty great before but after this particular day my Uncle Kevin’s coolometer went through the roof!
Now adventure number two of many was the most adventure filled trip out to the desert during you and the boys glory days of dirt bike riding!!! Man oh man these were the moments I would think to myself I sure wish this was my dad. He is just soooooooo cool lol 😉 so yes as the story continues you taught me how to ride a dirt bike for the very first time and honestly ever! And I went home without a scratch whew.
Now before I get to my last and most fond memory let me just say that there are so many more then this and that my life truly would not have been the same without the love of your family. My years were filled with anxiousness to return to Arizona each summer just to get to come to your house! So from the bottom of my heart thank you, thank you for giving me the image of what I want my family to look like, act like, and resemble. And you all continue to show me and remind me of the one thing I’ve always wanted and admire and strive for… The bond of a family. ❤️
Ok enough gooey girly emotion lol lets move on to the last memory I will share… Now this memory is specific to just you and I and no one else. Our own grand adventure all the way from Dallas, Tx to Phoenix, Az woohoo… Who would’ve thought that my Uncle would dare the journey to fly to Dallas to ride all the way back to Phoenix with his 18 year old niece haha 🙂 BUT you did it and I will never forget it! We literally were just cruising the highway like a couple of ol high school buddies jamming away to some Tom Petty. I will never forget those two special days that I was able to share with my super hero, Uncle Kev!
Well I hope you enjoyed this small trip down memory lane with me 🙂 I love you and know that your super hero powers are going to just kick this thing in the butt so everyone can continue to make more memories with you.
All my Love,
Alicia-D
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Without a doubt, I am not the only one who did not finish this update with dry eyes. Not because of the thought of loss, but because of the obvious impact you, Kevin, have made on your son, your grandchildren, and all those who know you. It is because of the amazing hope and positive outlook you have passed down throughout your life thus far. It is the legacy of a good hearted man, who imparts all those who know you with a sense of joy, love and amazing generousity. I am so grateful to have had you step back into our lives and bring such awareness that there are still really good people in the world.
Hugs and love to all,
Lori
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Thank you for all the updates on Kevin you are a good man and a great son .In a world full of anger and hate I will take love and hope anytime.This event that Kevin is going through is a emotional rescue for all the family and friends who are effected by this.My prayers to all of you.
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Kevin, 1300 feet! Good for you. Man that is a quarter of a mile. Praying for you everyday.
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Run, Kevin, run!!
We just learned of your illness the other day, Kevin. Sending our love and prayers for you and your wonderful family.
Richard, thanks for your updates.
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Thank you both for your thoughts and prayers.
Thank You,
Kevin Harless BD Medication Management Solutions Medication Solutions Architect O 623-572-8181 / C 623-229-0164 Kevin.Harless@carefusion.com
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Keep it up Kevin, we lite a candle for you today at Mass.
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Richard and Kevin: I’ve been there for “the talk” in my family and what you tell your kids is the truth: that Grandpa is sick but that their love gives him strength and his desire for another playdate/sleepover/snuggle session is what drives him to work hard and get stronger so that he can have time for them. I know from my conversations with Kevin that his grandkids light up his world and he glows when he talks about them. That glow produces energy! I love these blogs and read them daily as they help to light my day. Kevin, I love you big guy and I know these nurses and doctors haven’t met a patient like you before. You’ll teach them all a thing or two about commitment to continuous improvement and pushing to new limits. Rock on!!
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XOXO …. Love you Helen. Not the home coming party I was planning for you. I’m so happy and blessed to be BFF’s with you…. Stop laughing kids… Ha ha
Big love.
Thank You,
Kevin Harless BD Medication Management Solutions Medication Solutions Architect O 623-572-8181 / C 623-229-0164 Kevin.Harless@carefusion.com
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