I know its late (3am) and we are dealing with a bummer of a situation with Dad, but at least his IV pump isn’t working and has been alarming at us all night…
Yes, the above statement is me complaining with a touch of sarcasm to take the edge off. It is a format that Dad and my brother and I have enjoyed for years. We add the “at least” phrasing in-between multiple negatives. At this point I am not even sure how it started, probably my brothers humorous invention. X sucks, but at least Y is making it worse. It sucks to need an IV pump for daily nutritional needs, but at least it is a major pain to use…
None of you are reading this though to catch up on the latest troubleshooting tips for errors with the Curlin Medical 6000 CMS Infusion Pump, so I will move on and get you caught up on the latest with Dad.
Let me first start by saying that Dad is Home! In the last update, Two Choices, Dad had been in the hospital for a few days for small bowel obstruction issues. This turned into a 12 day stay. So, being home now is a huge win.
You may recall that the small bowel obstruction issues wound up not being an obstruction inside the intestines at all, but rather the result of the cancer spreading and constricting the intestines. Surgical removal was not an option based on several factors specific to Dads cancer. As such, the Two Choices boiled down to whether Dad would begin chemotherapy again or not. Dad has chosen to not.
There were many discussions and many hours of reflection and prayer that went into making this decision. Chemotherapy is not curative and would only slow the cancer in a best case scenario, but would certainly bring side effects that would diminish quality of life without any guarantee of significant extension in quantity. The entire family openly supported Dad with whatever decision he would make and encouraged him to make the right choice for him. Many of you all felt the same and supported Dad the same way, through text messages, phone calls, emails, and comments on this very blog. A phrase sticks with me from something I read this last year related to cancer treatment philosophies; “There are no wrong decisions, only informed decisions.”
So often we focus on the disease, that we sometimes forget to focus on the person. Many of us have read many articles about cancer, scholarly journals regarding treatment modalities, meta studies on long term prognosis, and just about everything else we can to better grasp this disease. Going back to the quote above, this information was not in vane as it assisted with making an informed decision. That being said this last week included a greater focus on the person, on Dad. A focus on his goals and desires. His feelings, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
On July 10th of 2016, Dad checked into the hospital for abdominal pain and this roller coaster began. One year later on July 10th of 2017, Dad sat in the same hospital with Mom, my brother, and me, and came to the decision to not begin chemotherapy again. Dad chose instead to spend the precious commodity of time, a commodity he is running out of, on all of us. Dad chose to enjoy his grandchildren, his family, his friends. Dad chose to feel as well as possible while building final memories. Dad chose to not go back to the hospital. Dad chose life.
Selfishly, I want my Dad forever. Mostly, I want my Dad. Having witnessed first hand the degree to which chemotherapy changed my Dad, zapping energy and mental capacity, inducing painful and uncomfortable side effects, and leading to infection and illness, I know that his decision gives us just that; Dad.
Hospice is stepping in to help ensure this is as smooth and comfortable as possible. Dad is not 100% and still has aches and pains, coughing spells that literally just happened for the last fifteen minutes producing gobs of gunk, and abdominal issues that prevent him from being able to eat. Hospice won’t make all of that go away, but they will help minimize it all and will do so with Dad at home. This means a comfortable environment, unlimited around the clock licks (kisses) from their dog Bella, and more time to be Dad.
With Hope and Love,
Richard
The Upside of Down - an update on hope, love, and oncology 
Richard, thank you so much for your continued updates on your Dad, Kevin. Our prayers are that he is comfortable and able to spend quality time with those he loves, and who love him.
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Richard, We will continue to lift your father and Harless family up in prayer. Your daddy, Kevin, is a remarkable noble man of character and service to the One True King, he is an amazing example of a warrior for Him….. He always has been. Fortunately, he has unselfishly shared, taught and helped and continues help us all in our walk of humility and love for these truths . We are so grateful for the opportunity to pray for dad during this journey where he has touched so many people; from the neighbors next store to the ends of the earth. His transparency, faith, and love he has for his family, Christ and all of HIS people in sharing of this journey, as difficult as it may have been, is one that will be treasured forever in the hearts of many. You, Richard, have been blessed with this same gift and dad will always live in you. Enjoy this well appointed and special time with dad…. “There are no wrong decisions, only informed decisions.” The decision is his, one that will be supported by all those who love, respect and cherish the man he is. It’s my hope that through his journey, more will come to know Him. We love and admire your heart in your willingness to share. We love you all.
In Him,
RoseAnn and The Patterson Family ((Hugs))
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Richard,As a Crown King friend, Mike and I hope he is able to accomplish some more the moments in life that will make him and you all smile. they are not large, they are small sometimes only a few words, sometimes none, a gesture, a smile, a swear word, a dog lick, orange popsicle, a tear, a moment of refection, a place he loves . You are all in our hearts and prayers
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as you can see my name did not post just the silly back doorname for my website lol that is on WordPress. OOpps…always check before you hit enter lol.. Mike and Nancy Flynn
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