For those of you reading this and learning for the first time that Dad has passed, I am sorry. Dad passed away this morning, September 2nd, 2017, at 2:30am.
There have been occasions this past year where I sat down intending to write a post on this blog about Dad and wound up staring at a blank screen for quite some time. Some of those were in the cafeteria or dimly lit patient room of Banner Thunderbird Hospital, and others at my parents house late at night with Dad in the next room, but this is the first I can recall sitting in my own office at home for what has felt like an eternity before keys began clicking and words appeared before me.
So many thoughts swirling. So many emotions flowing. A roll of toilet paper substitutes for a box of tissues. I already miss him as though he has been gone for so long, yet it hasn’t even been one full day.
After some downtime at our own homes today, we returned to my parents house for dinner with family. My wife drove and as we turned the corner onto Dads street, I saw his truck sitting in the driveway and felt sudden childish excitement to tell my Dad about a wild deal I have been negotiating, and then in that same moment I remembered… Tears flooded my eyes; I became quiet and still. Upset at myself for such a slip of mind that allowed a glimmer of hope and became a glaring let down.
I know this will continue to happen; I know it will be difficult each time.
Taking an honest look at this past year, I have truly struggled with the ups and downs. At times I have been ungrateful, wishing this drawn out process would be faster; wishing the agony would cease. There is comfort in knowing Dad is no longer hurting, but this pain deep within has only begun to resonate. I now know with certainty, that I am beyond grateful to have been given so much time with Dad. Our relationship would never have grown so strong without such a catalyst. Always expecting a tomorrow would have staved off the deep conversations, the direct statements of love and pride that I will forever hold so dear. This was truly the Upside of all this Down.
I am thankful to have had a caring, loving, proud father who invested himself into his family. I am thankful to have had this year to grow alongside him, to have strengthened bonds with our entire family, to have created impactful memories. I am thankful for all of you for providing support through visits with Dad, some from out of state; for offering words of inspiration; for prayer.
It is my sincerest hope that you have benefited from this blog. In the least, I hope you were able to remain informed. More, I hope you were able to feel connected to this journey and to have shared in the joys we found along the way. Mostly, I hope you were able to draw from this experience and to reflect on your own priorities knowing that not every ending is foreshadowed with such certainty. It is my hope that this experience allows you to seize the opportunity to love and share with those close to you in the same way we did with Dad.
With hope and love,
Richard
The Upside of Down - an update on hope, love, and oncology 
Eloquently said. ~Love and Light To You And Yours~
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My heart breaks today. I know he is in a better place, and not in pain. Your dad will always be in my heart and prayers. God Bless, and thank you for all the blog’s
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My heart is broken for you and your family and what all of you have endured and are enduring. This pain is very familiar to me losing my husband just five months ago from this dreadful horrid disease. Your father was an incredible man and I have to say again his words of wisdom helped me in my own life. He will be greatly missed. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Love Dawn Foley
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I will miss his hellos and smiles from across the street. I will miss him.
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Kevin will be missed by so many more people than you realize. Thank for your thoughtful writing and tribute to your father – and a great man.
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I didn’t know your dad but I know your mom from Copper Creek. But I wish I did know your Dad as he was a wonderful person from reading the notes. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Mary and family.
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That was just beautiful Richard ….thank you for your blogs. ….as with the earlier ones, I will re-read this last one at some point. Such beauty in your writing. Thank you.
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My heart hurts for you and your family. Im profoundly sorry.
Thank you, Richard, for sharing the upside of down. Your selflessness reminds me so much of your dad.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad was a very good friend and I’ll always cherish being blessed to have him in my life. Love and light to you all….
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I want to thank you Richard for doing such a great job informing those of us that crossed your father’s path, on the status of his health. I am sure your father was filled with love and pride for you as he went home. Hold your memories close of the time you had on earth with him. You will see him again some day. 💗🙏
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I am saddened by your father’s passing. He was a true friend and, clearly with your mother, raised a good family. Richard, similar to your Upside writings, he has been an inspiration to many of us for years and will continue in memory. God bless Kevin and your family.
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To the Harless family, I am so sorry for your loss but thankful you found the “Upside of the Down.” May God contintine to pour out blessings on you and the family during this time of grief.
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We will continue to pray for you family through your grieving. Thank you for sharing your blog. It will take time but you will appreciate this blog to go back to and read through. I will always eat peanut butter and English muffins and think of your Dad and family. Blessings to you and your family.
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Richard, you are a beautiful and gifted writer. Your posts have connected us through times when we would otherwise have suffered the unknown. I have to believe sharing your very personal journey with friends, known and unknown, has been very difficult at times. Keith and I would like to express our gratitude to you and your family for generously sharing updates during a very personal, emotional experience.
Mary Lynne and Keith Mekenney
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I am pretty sure you know but I hope you know how incredibly proud your mom and dad are of you. As a family friend, you need to know that your family gives us strength and hope in this world we live in. I know his spirit will live on in you and your family will continue to inspire others to keep family and love at the center of their lives. Thank you for keeping us connected with your experience, both beautiful and sad at the same time.
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Richard and Family,
We are all blessed to know and love such a beautiful friend, colleague. He touched so many and was truly an inspiration. He will be missed by many. Thank you for sharing your blog and heart. I am sorry you are having to go through this pain. He will always be with you and your family in spirit and love. Cindy
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May your wonderful memories be of comfort. We are so very sorry to hear this sad news. Blessing to your family.
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Your dad was larger than life Richard. Your whole family are some of the greatest people we ever met. It spoke volumes when Joe made a trip all the way out there just to see your dad. He was good to everybody. You boys are his greatest achievement. He left the world putting good people like you here. Give your mom and your brother Jeremy our best. Love you guys.
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I am so saddened to hear of Kevin’s passing. I consider myself very lucky to have known him. He was an inspiration to me and many who worked with him. He will be so sadly missed.
Thank you for creating this blog so that we could feel just a little connected to Kevin’s battle with cancer and your journey as a very loving and caring son. My heartfelt sympathy to your entire family.
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I’m deeply sorry for your family’s loss. Love and Light.
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Mary, Richard and family,
Our prayers go out to you and the family. I am thankful that I was able to talk to Kevin last Saturday. He touched the hearts of everyone. A good husband, father and friend. Richard thanks for your blog, you are a strong son and I know you will carry your dad’s message.
Alan and Eileen Charbonneau
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Richard, thank you for your eloquent writings that have allowed all of us to monitor Kevin’s journey, your family’s journey, from afar. He was a good man. My hope is that someday soon peace fills your heart so that sorrow has no home. Your writings remind all of us that time is not guaranteed and today is sometimes all that matters. Peace be with you, your family, and your Mom.
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Richard, thank you for sharing with us your Dad’s journey Home. Kevin touched so many people positively in his life, including me, and for that I am forever grateful. I was sorry to hear of his passing. Know that I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
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We are truly saddened to hear of your Dad’s passing.
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Richard,
I am so sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. Thank you for sharing such intimate moments of your journey through your father’s illness. Kevin was a friend and mentor to me (and to so many others) since my first days at Pyxis. He was such a great, positive person and always lit up the room when he walked in. A few years ago, he gave me a bolo tie that he hand crafted for me in his shop. I moved it to my top desk drawer to remind me of him and to say a quick prayer every time I saw it….please know those prayers will continue for you and your family as you grieve the loss of your father. I will miss him!
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Richard, I know how hard it is to process this loss. Your comments rang true with me about “intending to write” and “staring at a blank screen” because I felt the same way when my father died. Even these many years later, I still hear my father’s voice in my head and I am glad for it. It informs my actions and keeps me going forward. Keep writing now in tribute to your father and to celebrate his life. He was indeed a special man. My thoughts and prayers are with you and family this week.
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